Disturbing the Peace

Oh, look, there’s a hair on my establishing shot.

With a pitch like that, we should be in for a great time, right? The murder mystery storyline that has driven the action on this show for the past several months seems to be barreling towards an inevitable climax, just in time for November sweeps, the period in which television ratings are measured and fateful decisions are cast as to whether or not they’re worth saving.

Dark Shadows is also approaching the end of its second 13 week order, having inexplicably surpassed the end of its first, despite this very same storyline snoring from a promising savior to a total snooze at around that same time.

Indeed, most of this story’s high points have come from this second order. The fist appearance of the ghost of Josette Collins, the Old House, Mrs. Johnson, the East Wing, the ghost of Bill Malloy, the saga of the silver filigreed fountain pen, even Vicky’s trip to Bangor. At least things have happened.

Which makes the current direction somewhat…frustrating.

It’s a helluva premise, right? All signs indicate Roger is the murderer. He knows Vicky is onto him, and she just fled the house in the night to go to the one man she can trust. This should be riveting television.

But I can’t get excited, because of what Roger told Vicky to explain what happened. A story so toothless and nonsensical that it can’t possibly be true. And yet…what does the show gain out of protracting this, if Roger isn’t the killer? Why create some new explanation for why we shouldn’t immediately accuse him? At best, it’s more obfuscation to prolong the story and at worst…

At worst, Roger’s stupid story is true.

The episode begins with Roger barging into Vicky’s bedroom, which has transformed back to its natural state, after spending a few episodes as Carolyn’s room.

Roger realizes Vicky is gone and immediately begins panicking, presumably terrified that she didn’t believe his stupid story and has gone racing to the police, or worse, his ex-boyfriend.

What did he even hope to get out of confronting her again, immediately after their last conversation? That’s not exactly going to help convince her he has nothing to hide.

Anyway, on to Vicky and Roger’s ex-boyfriend.

It’s delightful wordplay like that that I’m gonna miss when Francis Swann is gone. I half expect Burke and Vicky to start playing a round ‘Button, Button, Who’s Got the Button’.

In which ‘incredible’ is a euphemism for ‘stupid’, of course.

So Vicky tells Burke everything Roger told her about his super secret meeting before the meeting with Malloy and how Malloy was dead when he showed up and all the suspicious things Roger has been doing since then are because he knew very well who would believe him.

Burke isn’t convinced and I’m extraordinarily disappointed that Vicky almost is.

We’re still a while from Victoria Winters turning into the insensate moron she is best remembered by the Dark Shadows fanbase for being. Still, this is…uncool of Francis Swann. I mean, I guess you could chalk this up to the same cautionary attitude that had her convince Burke they shouldn’t go to the police until they had solid evidence last week, but that made sense and Roger’s story…

Doesn’t.

However, I can also understand why Vicky would want to believe the coroner’s report was right and Malloy’s death was an accident, no foul play required. Besides her unusual friendship with Roger Collins, learning Malloy wasn’t killed would likewise mean that ghosts aren’t real.

I’m not gonna sketch the geometric proof for that, by the way. Just that, Vicky doesn’t like the idea that she saw a ghost who warned her she would be killed like he was. If Roger’s telling the truth, that means the ghost was lying! Better yet, it means the ghost doesn’t exist. Which means she did just dream it, and she isn’t about to get killed.

So, I can sympathize. For now. But she’s on thin ice.

Well, another reason to believe Roger is telling the truth is that he surely could’ve come up with a better lie, right? I mean…if that is “all the stops”, then we’ve all been giving him way too much credit.

Mitch Ryan starts making violent gesticulations with his hands again as he complains about the fickleness of fountain pens, like your average soap opera leading man.

That’s another thing. Vicky still believes Roger must have stolen the pen, she isn’t that far gone to suspect it just disappeared. Why would Roger steal the pen if he wasn’t the killer? All it did was make him look guilty as sin.

Well, yes, but this is again presuming A.) Roger is the murderer, B.) if not the murderer, Roger knew the pen would make him look like the murderer, and C.) Roger has any sense at all.

In fact, we all know that Roger didn’t destroy or cast the pen away. He buried it in the woods as if he would need to find again later. He even marked the spot with a rock. Was he planning to sell the fucking thing once the heat died down? I mean, he is a greedy moron, so it’s entirely possible.

Yet again, Swann feels the need to have both these characters remind each other and us that they can’t go to the police without concrete evidence. He has to bring it up every episode, I guess. It’s like his early fascination with the fact that Elizabeth never leaves the house. He thinks it’s crazy.

He did not just say that. That’s literally cartoon stuff. Am I watching Dark Shadows or the many adventures of Snagglepuss and Grape Ape?

In order for his plan to work, Burke has to flee to a country with no extradition to the go to Bangor.

He offers to bring Victoria along for the novelty, I guess, but she points out that isn’t a very good idea because then everybody in town would be onto her. Burke takes this, naturally, as a sign of womanly weakness, telling her she’d “make a very good Girl Scout”.

Burke claims he’s concerned that Roger might kill Vicky just because he suspects she knows too much.

Not to encourage the use of cliches, but this would’ve been a perfectly fine place to use the “He’s got nothing left to lose” line instead of whatever the hell that was.

On this not very encouraging note, Burke and Vicky head off, with Burke promising to drive her back to Collinwood. It is at this point that Francis Swann realizes he has 15 minutes left and no idea what do, so here’s Sam and Maggie.

Maggie is sitting here waiting for her father.

You’re probably wondering why Maggie is meeting her alcoholic father here rather than at their house. She did mention having to get home to start making dinner near the end of Monday’s episode. The Watsonian answer is probably because she knew she’d find him here, or something, but the Doylist is that they were already using this set today for Burke and Vicky, so might as well keep it up.

Our once episode reminder of how much this show and the people on it want to fuck Sam Evans. And, again, who can blame this?

So, yes, this is shameless filler, but unlike last episode, I’m willing to give it some slack. After all, Maggie being let into loop on Monday was a great development and introduces a very refreshing new angle to this stale mess of a storyline. Maggie isn’t beholden to the same politesse and temerity that has governed Vicky holding her tongue as the situation around her becomes equal parts more dangerous and more convoluted.

Sam has been mostly shut out of the Malloy story lately, to the character’s betterment. As much as we’re used to twitchy, sweaty, Worried His Life Will Collapse Around His Ears Sam, the break has allowed us to see he’s capable of other things: advising his daughter about romance, and singing, and giving gifts to people.

Sadly, part of Maggie becoming an active participant in the narrative means that Sam’s sojourn must come to an end.

Maggie tells her father that she’s worried for Vicky’s safety and even offered to let her stay at their place. Sam has the same worry Maggie had at the time that Vicky suspected him, which Maggie shoots down. And I’m sure this is supposed to be just to check off that narrative box, but at this point I’m willing to bet Swann was ready to recycle anything just to beef out a script.

There is a nice bit, though, when Maggie tells Sam she realized it wasn’t him Vicky was afraid of because Vicky told Maggie she’d be in danger if she told her, which had her realize it couldn’t be her father. That’s sweet. Regardless.

Maggie confirms that, while Vicky didn’t give her any names, she’s realized it must be Roger she’s frightened of.

Everyone can see it.

Just when it seems things are about to get someplace, Maggie and Sam launch right back into the goddamn Same Conversation. She wonders if Sam has anything to do with the business over which Malloy was purportedly killed, which is just a new spin on Maggie wondering what Sam has to do with Roger and Burke.

They even start talking about that stupid letter Sam wrote back in Episode 37 and then gave to Maggie who had it locked in the safe at work. I know I keep telling you the letter will never be mentioned again and then I end up being wrong, but take that as an indication that its contents will have no effect on the story at any point, regardless of it occasionally being bandied about by these same two characters like it’s about to mean something.

Evidently not.

The thing is, while it made sense for Maggie as a character to seal the letter in the safe, it creates an infuriating circumstance. That letter, though Maggie doesn’t know it, is Sam’s confession of his part in the manslaughter case Burke went to prison for ten years ago. At any moment, Maggie can produce that letter and read it and then she’d know everything. It’s basically a ticket to ending this story whenever the writers see fit. Technically speaking, there’s nothing stopping Maggie from going to the hotel right now, asking Mr. Wells to crack open the safe, and reading that damn letter herself. We’re to assume she’s just acting in good faith by not doing any of this and we have to assume this, because that letter would be an infuriatingly stupid way for the saga of Burke’s revenge to finally come to a close! We’ve suffered too much for it to just be put to rest in a matter so stupid as that. It’d be like if they revealed the murder of Bill Malloy wasn’t a murder at all but an inexplicably timed accident.

Ahem.

Sam wonders why Vicky didn’t just keep whatever she knew quiet, which is delightfully jaded and cynical, and even better when Maggie agrees with him.

Which is a pretty good read on the character, so good for her and for Swann, I guess. Vicky is too principled to sit on a thing like this. Of course, that’s not how it happened. The only reason Vicky got caught up in the pen drama to begin with is because she found the thing by accident, and she only learned the significance of the pen by chance. Roger was only tipped off because she was terrified she was currently in a strange city with a murderer. So the ‘duty’ thing doesn’t really apply, much as it would otherwise have made sense.

Now that his bubble has been burst, Sam is back to sweating it out like the lovable old neurotic he is.

Maggie tells him Vicky’s fear that the murder is caught up in the manslaughter case which, of course, is something he already knew given the context of the fateful meeting.

While Sam may be above suspicion of being Malloy’s killer, his life is set to be ruined for the same reasons it was back when he was trying to talk himself out of painting Burke’s portrait a thousand years ago: he is an accessory after the fact, having somehow helped Roger avoid ending up with Burke’s prison sentence ten years ago. If Roger is the murderer, and if he is caught, there will be nothing stopping him from telling the world about Sam’s part in it. Roger even threatened him to that effect in a meeting they had shortly after Malloy’s death became public knowledge.

It’s really quite a situation, and it makes it more mind-boggling that the Evanses haven’t been utilized to greater effect in recent weeks. You’d almost forget the whole manslaughter thing is the driving force behind all this crap in the first place.

Dave Ford is very good at playing a drunk. Lots of the men on this show are, but I’m sure we shouldn’t read very deeply into that.

Sam suggests Maggie contact Vicky so he can press her for information himself. Like most of Sam’s ideas as concern protecting himself, this is more likely to make his position worse than better, but we’re expected to excuse this because he’s an alcoholic and it’s not the fault of the writer trying to create conflict so the story can happen so there.

Maggie, of course, is reluctant to entertain this nonsensical notion, both because it’s nonsensical and also because it’s late at night.

Well, she hasn’t gotten him to stop drinking, so…

Maggie caves before long, however, and calls Collinwood from the bar’s phone. Sam at least had the decency to give her change for the payphone.

Imagine. She’s just been told this guy is almost certainly a murderer and now she’s stuck spinning her wheels with him just to give her father some validation.

You may have already figured this out, but this contrived phone call is only happening for the contrived reason that Roger can figure out Maggie hasn’t spoken to Vicky since she came to Collinwood and, therefore, Vicky claiming she was on the phone with Maggie last episode was a lie.

The fruitless phone call concluded, Maggie returns to her table, only to find that her father is gone. The subsequent shot of a forlorn Maggie standing in the midst of the couples dancing on the floor is the most beautiful in the episode and a candidate for the best of the week.

The Evanses have now served their purpose for the episode. At least this filler did something. Though I’m pretty sure Roger would’ve figured Vicky was lying to him just from her not being around the house.

In any case, Vicky returns to Collinwood and Roger is quick to corner her yet again.

I like to imagine he was just standing there in the doorway like an automaton waiting for her to show up. It may have been a whole hour.

I like that lamp. I’m enjoying the lamps lately.

Poor Vicky is totally trapped. She claims she couldn’t sleep and went for a walk and then, even worse, claims she visited Maggie, something Roger will immediately recognize for the lie that it is.

And, yes, we are subjected to several minutes of this.

Vicky claims that, since they ‘spoke’ on the phone earlier, Maggie discovered something new about the portrait of Betty Hanscom. She does add that Maggie was wrong about whatever she thought about the painting, however, proving that she has at least internalized disappointment to the point she can’t even be allowed victories in her fictions.

Poor thing’s got a big storm coming.

Also, Roger’s response to this is a bone dry, “Yes…I can imagine,” followed by a perfectly timed swig from his glass. I’m glad at least he knows there’s only one right way to play this.

Roger claims the reason he was looking for her was because he was just about to suggest she seek Maggie out for information on the painting. Obviously, Vicky doesn’t believe this for a second and I don’t think Roger believes it worked.

I think it’s telling that Vicky just knows none of this people will ever show any genuine interest in her past, so this is all she needs to know that Roger is lying. She hastily excuses herself to go to bed and Roger, very aware he’s on a soap opera even if the writer isn’t, stares off into the middle distance as he intones…

Somehow, this isn’t the end of the episode. Here’s Vicky in a new cassock.

We’re treated to a prolonged sequence of Vicky locking her door, putting the lights out and going to bed. This doesn’t all count as running out the clock, but most of it is.

Meanwhile, Roger calls the Blue Whale and has a one-sided conversation with our friend the bartender, the sole purpose of which is to confirm that Sam and Maggie were at the Blue Whale together for some time, as if he needs more proof Vicky was lying about going out to see Maggie. That definitely is running out the clock. Indeed, the only reason this episode is still going on in the first place is…

Someone tries to get into Vicky’s room. She bolts upright in bed and cries out, at which point whoever it is hiding in the shadows of the passage slams the door shut.

And it’s scary. The episode spends such a long time dithering about alibis and intentions and people giving each other increasingly transparent runarounds that you end up lulled into a false sense of security, absolutely convinced nothing is going to happen until next episode if you’re lucky.

So when this happens. The suddenness of the lock turning, the shrillness of Vicky’s terrified scream…you jump. For just one instant, Dark Shadows becomes transcendent, and you’re all in, wondering what might’ve happened, what Vicky’s going to do next, where the prowler is now…

And then Roger shows up.

I timed it. There are approximately 9, maybe 10, seconds between the door slamming shut and Roger arriving like the cavalry. He acts like he heard the noise and ran immediately. Don’t ask why nobody else in the house heard, though Elizabeth and Mrs. Johnson are almost certainly back from visiting Matthew by now, and Burke expressly escorted Carolyn back to her car after their date, so she should be back too, never mind that David is across the hall. That can all be solved by remembering there are unspoken character limits for each episode, and we were already at five, plus the bartender and various other Blue Whale patrons.

What I’m most interested in is it’s quite obvious to anybody with a lick of sense that Roger is the one who tried to get into Vicky’s room, and it only looks more obvious considering he showed up to the rescue almost immediately after Vicky screamed.

To her credit, Victoria isn’t buying this shit for a second. She tells Roger someone tried to get into her room and he tells her the door wasn’t locked, despite us seeing Vicky lock that door at the start of the act, just a few minutes ago.

She’s so close to whacking him in the face, you guys. So close. If only she weren’t so polite.

I think I’m beginning to understand the intent here. We’re supposed to feel like someone has been pulling our legs. Vicky is being gaslit by every word that comes out of Roger’s mouth…again. She has been separated from all her friends and confidantes, and now there seems to have been an actual, physical threat against her.

It’s frustrating. You want to scream and swear and wonder what the hell they’re doing here, why this is going on, why we’re being subjected to this. Just like Roger’s implausible story about the night of the murder. You know it’s nonsense, that you shouldn’t be expected to believe this, but nobody’s listening. You feel isolated, embittered and alone.

You feel like Victoria Winters. Or, rather, you feel like the protagonist of a gothic horror story. The only sane person in a world of deceit and lies.

And that is scary.

That doesn’t in any way make up for the story being bad, by the way, just so you know. Don’t get it twisted.

This Day in History- Wednesday, November 16, 1966

Otto Arosemena Gómez, of the Conservative Party, is sworn in as Ecuador’s new President, having defeated his Radical Liberal candidate. I’m not editorializing, the party was actually called the “Radical Liberal Party”.

Italian Prime Minister Aldo Moro votes for a 10% increase in taxes to cover extensive damages following this month’s massive flooding of the Arno River.