The Dark Shadows Drinking Game

Ask any soap fan: the sudsers are better with bubbles.

Mix a drink of choice and glug your way through Collinsport.

Just drink responsibly.

In General

1. Someone poses at a window: One drink. Two if it’s Elizabeth.
2. Someone smokes a cigarette: One drink.
3. Someone flubs a line: One drink.*
4. Someone flubs a line and comes up with a better one to compensate: Drain your glass and cheer.
5. Reference is made to ghosts: One drink.
6. Something supernatural occurs: Drain a glass. Obviously, rest this starting in Episode 210.
7. Location footage: One drink the first time, then add another every time the same footage is used. Doesn’t count for the Collinwood establishing shots, those are stills.
8. Pick a favorite Blue Whale juke track and drink whenever it comes up. For spirit.
9. The ABC announcer (Bob Lloyd) describes an upcoming program over the credits: One drink. Two if you’d actually have watched it.

Opening Monologue

1. The phrase ‘great house on Widow’s Hill’, or some variation, is used: One drink.
2. The word ‘tension’ is used: One drink.
3. Reference is made to metaphorical ghosts: One drink.
4. The monologue mentions another character by name: Two drinks.
5. Alexandra Moltke sounds like someone is holding a gun to her head: Half a glass. Yes, this is subjective.

Victoria Winters

1. Someone warns Vicky to leave Collinwood/Collinsport: One drink.
2. Vicky repeats the story of her past/how she came to Collinwood: One drink.
3. Vicky asks a question about her past: One drink.
4. Vicky learns something about her past: Two drinks.
5. Vicky reacts to something strange and alarming as if it is not strange and alarming: One drink.
6. Vicky reacts to a strange and alarming thing appropriately: Two drinks.
7. Vicky is mistreated/lied to/gotten in trouble/placed in peril: One drink

Elizabeth Collins-Stoddard

1. Elizabeth dodges a question: One drink.
2. Elizabeth verbally violates her brother: One drink.
3. Elizabeth verbally violates Carolyn: One drink.
4. Somebody references ’18 years’: One drink.
5. Elizabeth does something dubious in the name of the “family”: Two drinks.
6. Joan Bennett looks at the teleprompter: A. Very. Very. Small sip.

Roger Collins

1. Roger is insulted by somebody: One drink. Two if it’s David.
2. Roger insults somebody else: One drink.
3. Roger makes a disparaging comment about his son: One drink.
4. Roger calls Carolyn ‘Kitten’: One drink.
5. Roger makes sexually suggestive comments: One drink. Two if it’s about Carolyn. Three if it’s about Burke.
6. Roger takes a drink: One drink, to share.
7. Roger runs away from a scene: One drink.
8. Roger has a victory: Drain a glass.
9. Roger is polite and decent without ulterior motive: Two drinks.
10. Roger is actually innocent of things to which he is accused: Half a glass.

Burke Devlin

1. Someone says the name ‘Burke Devlin’. Not ‘Burke’, not ‘Devlin’. Just ‘Burke Devlin’: One drink.**
2. Burke makes a sexually suggestive comment: One drink. Two if it’s about Carolyn.
3. The phrase ’10 years’ is used: One drink.
4. Burke’s plan progresses: Drain a glass.
5. Something new is revealed about what happened 10 years ago: Half a glass.
6. Burke calls Vicky “Little governess”: One drink.
7. Burke is rude and dismissive to allies: One drink.
8. Burke sabotages his plan in some way: One drink. Two if you can figure out why he’d do such a thing.

Carolyn Stoddard

1. Carolyn puts down Joe: One drink.
2. Carolyn extols the virtues of another man: One drink. Two if it’s Roger.
3. Carolyn’s mood changes mid-scene: One drink.
4. Carolyn calls Collinwood a prison: One drink. Two if the word ‘mausoleum’ is used.
5. Carolyn gets inexplicably angry with Vicky: One drink.
6. Carolyn denounces Burke and/or Joe: Drink twice if she changes her tune within the episode.
7. Carolyn emphasizes how young she is in comparison to Burke: One drink.
8. Carolyn is self-referential about her unpleasantness: One drink.

Sam Evans

1. Sam monologues: One drink.
2. Sam is self-pitying: One drink.
3. Sam sounds like he’s about to sob, but doesn’t: One drink.
4. Sam actually starts to sob: Two drinks.
5. Sam is an asshole to Maggie: One drink.
6. Sam makes things worse for himself: One drink.
7. Dave Ford-as-Sam makes a delightful quip: One drink.
8. Dave-Ford-as-Sam sings: Drain a glass.

Maggie Evans

1. Maggie’s wig: One drink.
2. Reference is made to Maggie’s ‘terrible coffee’: Two drinks.
3. Maggie is allowed to act as more than Greek Chorus and talk-to: One drink.***
4. “Pop!”: One drink.
5. Maggie gossips: One drink. Two if this is something you, the viewer, don’t know already.
6. Maggie is allowed to speak about something other than her father, Burke and Roger: Two drinks.
7. Maggie does something for herself: A toast.

Joe Haskell

1. Joe is put down: One drink. Two if it’s to his face.
2. Joe references marrying Carolyn: One drink.
3. Joe stands up for himself: Drain a fucking glass.

David Collins

1. David hates someone: One drink. Two if it’s his father.
2. David references speaking to ghosts: One drink.
3. David acts very suspicious around adults who don’t seem to notice: One drink.
4. David is actually innocent of the wrongdoing other characters accuse him of: Two drinks.

Sheriff Patterson

1. The Sheriff discovers something significant: One drink.
2. The Sheriff is sassy: One drink.
3. The Sheriff makes an empty threat: One drink.
4. Sheriff Cakes: Two drinks.

Mrs. Johnson

1. Mrs. Johnson talks about food: Two drinks, or as many needed to banish the images from your mind.
2. Mrs. Johnson talks about Malloy: One drink. Two if she implies how hot she was for him.
3. Mrs. Johnson is somehow the most sensible person in a scene: Toast.

*Perhaps half a drink if it’s Joan Bennett or Mitch Ryan, and you want to live.

** This will kill you.

*** You can probably relax this one around Episode 50.