It’s all in the Book

Looking for something?

Here, you’ll find a complete index of every post ever written for this blog. If you want to jump to a specific point in the Dark Shadows story, if you’re hunting for a particular special feature, or if you just like lists, this is the place for you!

The Beginning

• 0. My Journey is Beginning…: My humble introduction to my humble blog. Also accessible from the banner, so this inclusion is kind of redundant
• 1. The Beginning and the End of the World: Victoria comes to Collinwood, and we come with her.
• 2. Quite A Strange Crew: Vicky gets a look at her new digs, while Carolyn attempts a night on the town.
• 3. The Girl Who Cried ‘Uncle!’: Victoria makes a new friend and learns much more about her than anyone wants.
• 4. Nobody Burkes the Devlin Inquisition: The one where they all yell about Burke Devlin, and also this house is haunted.
• 5. Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Our show’s first cliffhanger: Will the protagonist leave after only one week of episodes? Who can say?
• 6. Snoopy, Doopy Doo: Don’t go in the basement, don’t ask questions, don’t ever expect satisfying answers.
• 7. Drunken Donuts: That Burke Devlin’s such a charmer, even when he can’t remember a word he’s supposed to say!
• 8. Ground Rules for Marrying My Daughter: All aboard Her Majesty’s Royal Dipshit!
• 9. Love at First Spank: Wanna win Carolyn’s heart? Keep that paddling hand strong.
• 10. Deus ex Stupidito: There are no ghosts here. Only nipple-raygun robots.
• 11. Look What the Burke Devlined In: He’s really very friendly!
• 12. The Emancipation of Maggie Evans: Not from her wig, though. Yet.
• 13. All Choked Up: Near-death experiences bring you closer to God! Or the unemployment line. Whichever comes first.
• 14. Pain in the Tuckus: Super secret suppository.

The Case of the Missing Suppository

• 15. Kars for Kooks: Something finally happens!
• 16. Drag Me to Heck: Carolyn wants a cave-man. Matthew wants the sweet release of death.
• 17. I Would Walk 100 Mi…It SEEMED Like 100 Miles…: Doctor doctor, tell me the news, I’ve got a case of…or…dammit LINE!
• 18. The One Where David Isn’t Suspicious at All: Much ado is made about nothing, and none of it has anything to do with David at all, no sir.
• 19. Living my Truth- The Carolyn Stoddard Story: Art Wallace probably shouldn’t start writing about gender politics, like, ever.
• 20. The Suppository Spat I- Lovers’ Quarrel: Two men, one suppository. Tale as old as time.
• 21. The Whole Truth < Nothing But: Carolyn hears the story. And hears it again. And a third time for good measure.
• 22. Portrait of Vengeance: In which Roger displays miraculous powers of healing.
• 23. Law and Order- Special Suppositories Unit: Constable Carter makes his entrance.
• 24. Burt Pevlin and the Not Good, Really Bad, Off-the-Rails Episode: Constable Carter wishes he’d never entered.
• 25. The Purloined Suppository: Little surprises everywhere.
• 26. A Red Herring Without Mustard: All this police work sure gets a tummy rumbling.
• 27. When One Drawer Opens…: If Burke treats all his underlings like this, no wonder they never stick around more than two episodes.
• 28. The Greatest Suppository Episode: It’s a low bar, but we had to meet it somewhere.
• 29. Burke Devlin Special: You’ll love the wacky hijinks David and his new (only) friend get up to!
• 30. The Suppository Spat II- Father and Son: The Collinwood version of the woodshed.
• 31. The Suppository Spat III- Final Crisis: The light at the end of the tunnel.
• 32. The Suppository Spat Final Chapter Prologue- Easy Solutions: So about the dignity of that badge…

The Interregnum

• 33. Spinsters and Shut-Ins: Where do we go from here? Male impotency, of course!
• 34. Steak my Love: Sounds like East Lynne, doesn’t it?
• 35. The Emancipation of Sam Evans: You’re gonna be sorry you ever came here.
• 36. Should I Go? (You Should Stay): Haven’t we already had this conversation?
• 37. Things That Go Bump: There are some things, Miss Winters, that just can’t be explained.
• 38. Book Club: The New Adventures of Old (and Big, and Scary) Matthew.
• 39. Storia ex Nedilo: I could quite easily kill you.
• 40. Running Rings ‘Round Roger: It’s a play older than you and I.
• 41. Wringing out the Writer: We need a hot new sound, kids.
• 42. Is This a Pen I See Before Me?: Mortgages!
• 43. Father Figures: It’s the Bill Malloy Variety Minute!
• 44. Bailing Out Mr. Banks: He isn’t. Your Grandma’s. Stuffy old. Banker.
• 45. Men at Burke: I’m a very busy man. Check with Hanley in Marketing if you don’t believe me.
• 46. Slouching Towards Collinsport: I’m getting the sneaking suspicion something’s gonna happen!
• 47: Missing Man’s Meeting: I’m sure he’s fine.
• 48. Unfogging the Future: You know what this show needs more of? Fortune telling.
• 49. He Said, You Said, I Said, Who Said: I’m sure something will happen eventually.

WhoHowWhenWhyDunIt

• 50. The Ghosts and Me: DEATH
• 51. Must Be Seeing Things: That’s Enough Excitement for Now, I Think
• 52. Book of the Dead: Could it be…ghosts???
• 53. Let the River Run: I won’t even bring flowers to your funeral!
• 54. New Sheriff in Town: He’s not much better than the last one.
• 55. Murdering the Time: Facts! Damn facts and accusations.
• 56. Dream a Little…: How can I make this tragedy about myself?
• 57. All My Detectives: How can I make this tragedy about myself, but, yanno, Manly-like?
• 58. Murdering the Tide: Tide charts. How do they work?
• 59. In the Corner With Roger: How dare you ask very obvious questions I haven’t prepared any answers to?
• 60. Journey to the Past: Hey, remember the main character lady?
• 61. Burkesplaining: He’s just a not very pleasant person.
• 62. Gaslight Me, Roggy: Why don’t we all just move to Florida?
• 63. We All Make Choices…: What is Matthew doing at Applebee’s?
• 64. Disturbing the Peace: I feel we should be making more of a deal about this.
• 65. Point of No Return: This could’ve been the series finale! That’s sad.
• 66. The Devlining: Part Eleventy-Six: We’ve got to stop meeting up like this.
• 67. Here’s to You, Mrs. Johnson: A star is born.
• 68. David’s Choice: Father-son bonding time.
• 69. The Scarecrow and Mrs. Johnson: Remember, this alliance is only temporary.
• 70. This Old House: What a refreshing change of pace.
• 71. The Fish Tube Principle: I spoke too soon.
• 72. Is Mayonnaise an Instrument?: I always made my own mayonnaise.
• 73. Whole Lot of Nothing: Just spinning the wheels at this point.
• 74. Comedy of Errors: There are too many underage individuals in this man’s bedroom.
• 75. Chekov’s Pen: Let’s talk about writing devices. Literally and metaphorically.
• 76. Cards on the Table: No, we, really, really need to stop meeting up like this.
• 77. Burke Devlin, Burke Devlin, Burke Devlin: BURKEDEVLINBURKEDEVLINBURKEDEVLINBURKEDEVLIN
• 78. Date Night: Feels like falling in love.
• 79. Mixed Moralizing: Learned your lesson, yet?
• 80. Penmansh[expletive deleted]: Like a bad penny…
• 81. Help Wanted: I hope this job has benefits.
• 82. Pass the Pen: It’s bad when they have to explain all the ways this stuff matters.
• 83. Into the Unknown: This is a lot of hullabaloo over a silver filigreed fountain pen.
• 84. Off Limits: Well, that escalated fairly quickly.
• 85. The Ghost Talks: Art Wallace leaves us with the best episode he ever wrote.
• 86. Red Flagapalooza: You’d better be a good swimmer.
• 87. Woman in Trouble I- The One With the Secret Tunnel: Who doesn’t love a good rescue?
• 88. I Should Very Definitely Go: I’d believe this more if she didn’t keep talking about it.
• 89. Jerk Melvin and the No Good, Very Bad, Really Screwed the Pooch, Episode: FADE TO BLACK
• 90. World’s Best (Terrorized) Teacher: I believe the children are our future.
• 91. Heroine’s Journey: Carolyn did this to herself, but you’re never gonna hear her admit it.
• 92. Going to Bangor: Nice to have a change of scenery.
• 93. Violence…but Make it Boring: The One with the Spanking.
• 94. Les Affaires de Collinsport: Dark Shadows is a teen soap. And that’s a good thing.
• 95. Poisoned Pen: The oral history of the silver filigreed fountain pen.
• 96. Shacked Up: Don’t take the road less traveled. Unless you’ve got good company.
• 97. Art Appreciation: Sam Evans sings in this. There’s also some talk about that painting.
• 98. What a Way to Make a Living: A job’s a job until you hear the woman sobbing in the basement.
• 99. Kooks and Conspiracies: That’s enough cannery stuff for now, I think.
• 100. Pens N’ Envy: So it turns out some people got their wires crossed here.
• 101. Cardboard Houses: They don’t hang people anymore. Not in this state anyway.
• 102. A Likely Story: It’s an explanation, but I don’t like it.
• 103. Disturbing the Peace: Sleep tight tonight…
• 104. Road Rage: This show really likes cars, huh?
• 105. The Telltale Pen: How’s that for concrete evidence?
• 106. Procedural Justice: How much recap can we condense into 20 minutes? Let’s find out!
• 107. Whydunit?: Well that’s…a surprise.
• 108. Whodunit?: BUT THERE WERE NO CLUES!
• 111. Howdunit?: How we got here.
• 112. Mrs. Stoddard Meets the Monster: Oh, think nothing of it, it was nothing.
• 113. Boy Genius: There’s a lot of open-ended threads here.
• 114. How She Stands: The Victoria Winters Story: The protagonist has (and is) a problem.
• 115. Will the Real Matthew Morgan Please Stand Up?: The many faces of Matthew.